Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Adventures Of Phonytales! Weeeeeeeee!!!!!!


Geez, where oh where to start....Ponytales....Phonytales....

Laurie first walked on the scene of ABR not to long after it's birth, singing praises of herself from the beginning. Naturally it wasn't long before she too decided to become a "rescue" since she found a place where others fed into her....someplace she could feel so many of the other failed rescues that found ABR did.

She walked onto ABR claiming to be a certified vet tech and an equine nutritionist....neither of which turned out to be true.....and still follows suit to this day with half truths and make believe.....but fortunately for her, a vast majority of the FOB's don't have a clue.

I copied the most valuable lines in her posts because of past history, Phonytales has a habit of deleting and "fixing" her posts and web site when people point out the inaccuracies. My own personal comments are those in of right now, everything underlined is clickable and it will take you directly to Laurie's own words.

July 5th, 2007

I am a certified vet tech who has specialized in large animals for 12 years, I also have a degree in Equine Nutrition  (ironically enough, Phonytales also claims in this post "I would rather not be a 501(c)3 rescue"....but since becoming has harped on the fact you should be one to be "legitimate".... )

July 27th, 2007

Not only am I a vet tech but I also have a degree in Equine Nutrition There you go again!

January 2nd, 2008

I did not say that I was a CVT, LVT or RVT (Certified, Licensed or Registered Vet Tech) Sorry did say it, at least twice before you were busted....

I have an Equine Nutritional Consulting Business with MANY very happy clients. Was I enrolled at Cornell University? No. Did I study their curriculum, listen to their lectures, read their notes, and do everything that their students did? Yes. Does that make me an expert or earn me a degree? Most certainly not. Then why lie about it? And where are all these many happy clients? You certainly haven't made any mention of them in years.......and God knows you can't blow your nose without telling someone!

Just another funny....on January 24th 2010 she also claims to have been a "professional trainer" at one time....LMAO....I'd bet my last dollar that is another lie. She's posted videos of herself riding and lunging horses and there isn't anything professional about her! Scary....Yes! Professional, No! Of course you guys remember "Jed" that was so horrid he had to go, yet he did great with someone else......

January 3rd, 2008

This whole post is hilarious....but this is the best LOL of them all.....Which is why I choose to keep my rescue small, and not take in anything that is difficult to manage. That apparently didn't give you enough notoriety with your FOBots!

November 29th, 2009

We try to take in VERY needy rehabs only. Just another 180 folks....nothing new here...

And this thread from November 30th, 2009 is just a frickin HOOT! And this.....LOL.

Oh, and remember her now deceased stallion? Remember her having the web page offering his breeding services and when busted for it she claimed it was "just a joke"....sure it was dear! Unfortunately this is one of those things you can't link to, you had to be around with the posts being on the old ICERs and her immediately deleting the web page....but fugly did do a piece on her and her stallion.....

I could play this game all day of things she said then changed her story or altered it to make the FOB's happy over the years....I think a good majority of you have already caught on though.

So now she's closing....or is she? It's so confusing she doesn't even know what she's doing. God forbid she'd have to pay off the final bills herself for the mess she has created. With 6 less mouths to feed and running her "boarding business" you'd think paying off the mere $3000 she claims to owe a breeze. But why do right when you can stay a 501c3 and still ask for money and have those bills paid for you.

And what happened to this? Posted on ICERs March 26th, 2011....

Lastly I have things going on in my personal life right now that also require my time, and are also the reason for the much needed downsize, unlike others I keep my personal life personal and don't use it to garner support and sympathy.

It didn't take long at all for this 180 to happen! A disgruntled board member makes a post and the full blown pity party begins!

I'm not getting into anything else, but I think it's pretty unfair to tell someone that is fighting a life threatening health condition on top of a health condition that WILL leave them paraylized at some point in their life, that they are whining.


No I should not be horseback riding, at all, I shouldn't even be mucking stalls.

But please note that Laurie has no intention of closing her "boarding business"...because she is just fine for that! And the horses are treated like show horses and all :P


Again about my motorcycle, it's part of my "bucket list".....I'm going down the list. I won't be getting any better, I'm just hoping not to get worse.

And a clear list for her pity party, which again, she's pretty much done EVERYTHING she has harped on other rescues from doing over the years ;-)

For the record (public record) since I have been being asked questions, this is a list of the reasons why we are trying to close down:
A) Too many horses
B) Not enough money
C) Declining health
D) Volunteer/board member sold house and is moving
E) Board member/contributor resigned
F) Marital Issues
G) Family Issues

Let's discuss F) Marital issues.....hubby was pissed back in 2007 when Laurie only had 8 horses and they were in her own yard at the time.....but she didn't seem to concerned. Why try to make the husband happy when you have so many FOBots to impress!

My husband demanded a divorce a few weeks back. In his words he is tired of taking a back seat to the animals.

Another funny thing is a long time ago, back when the first ICERs was born, Laurie used to email me to share stories of what she had done to other rescues on ABR under false identities. I'm not sure if she thought I was cheeky enough to enjoy her drivel or she was trying to make nice hoping she never popped up on this blog.

I think we can all agree here that I can't stand Debbie from the old Mustang Hearts and wouldn't piss on her if she were on fire....but I also find some of the things Laurie did to her to be some of the most the most unethical crap I've ever seen in my life. I refereed to it as "wicked evil things" over on ICERs.

This thread "Reaching Desperation Status Here" on ICERs pretty much has it all in there. Unfortunately my old computer with all of the saved emails crashed a while back....and while I do believe it's fixable and retrievable, I couldn't wait any longer to do this blog.

If you'll notice within that thread when I accused her of posting AS Debbie's landowner and she told me how wrong I was because the landowner gave her the info to post...of course she calls the land owner a "she" and I only knew and had the email claiming the landowner was a "he" she has pretended to be 2 of Debbie's land owners...not just one! LMAO! Busted twice by her own admission!

Her post to Debbie......

Another post saying how it is all true and she IS who she says she is :-P

And her email to me bragging about it.....

"I would be MikeRID...Her landlord is Mike XXXXXXXX in ID...heeheehee"

I did remove his last name out of a tiny bit of respect since Laurie doesn't have any!

Known ID's of Phonytales (off the top of my head since everything was stored on my now crashed computer)....MikeRID, MireID, MaryKSmith....and myself and others that have emailed have a pretty good idea on a ton of other fake ID's....but since I don't have proof....well you know how that goes!

You can find all kinds of back peddling in that thread along with the resent thread she's started "Elephant in the room" absolute favorite is where she says:

Full of myself? Yup I am, call it a personality flaw, disorder, whatever, psychiatrist calls it Histrionic Personality...

And when I agree with her she says:

Actually no, I said I had a Histrionic Peronality according to my shrink, not Histrionic Personality Disorder. Ummmm....excuse me? Shrink says you haz it....which is it again? LMAO....and for anyone not familiar with Histrionic Personality Disorder, please fits Laurie to a T!

Remember Tee from Lifelines? That's one of the bad guys Laurie claims "I tried to tell you!!!!!!" when she went down......but wait! Laurie helped a friend of hers get placement for a horse there and even thanked Tee :-P

Seriously, like I said earlier...I could literally play this back peddle game all day with her posts, both resent and over the's never ending! She can't say the same thing twice!

All in all in conclusion, I think this post made on the last blog pretty much sums up my feelings....

I honestly believe her husband is sick of being a single father and working full time, while she's out fulfilling her "fantasy." Who wouldn't want to play with horses all day, in the name of rescue.

You know he's footing the bill on a lot of this. She never spared ANY expense on these horses. Why keep a 3 yr old horse alive that is barely pasture sound? At what cost financially? The expensive surgeries, two three opinions at different clinics. I don't think she budgeted money very well.

I bet hubby put the hammer down and said "enough." Her kids need a mom, Christ, they're young too. You hardly ever hear her mention them.

The health issues I don't buy. She may have some, but she's playing that up as the reason. She's stated she drinks, is overweight (not knocking that but in regard to health), I would think those things would be a lot more detrimental to someone's health than working around the barn. Physical exercise is good for most conditions.

I dunno, it just sounds fishy. She would have been better off not saying so much, but then again, she's always had a problem with that. Every time she stubs her toe she has to post it. She's just an attention whore. Most people I know that are truly good horse people are modest and don't need a pat on the back every time they pound a nail. She doesn't seem to have an ounce of common sense.

And actually there are a lot of good comments under the last blog if you have the time to read them!

And let's make NO mistake....even though these horses are not skin and bones, they are STILL having to be rescued from a rescue. Before it's to late, after it's to makes no difference....horses have been put into a "rescue" situation where they now cannot be properly taken care of.....all while Laurie has had all the time in the world to tell other people how rescuing should be done and putting herself on a pedestal....THAT's what really chaps my ass!

Phonytails also needs to learn that there is life and rescue outside of ABR! Maybe if she had actually tried to run her rescue right and use her board members (notice they all seem pretty disgruntled!) she probably wouldn't be a failure....a liar? Oh hell yes, she'll never give that up!

Ok, CRAP...I really need to stop now....there are just so many tales to tell.....LOL!


Saturday, July 30, 2011

Oh! Oh! Oh! Do I Get Sainthood Status Too?!?


It always amazes me when rescues provide basic care to, water, farrier they achieve sainthood status. Do these people not realize that this is something most anyone can do? Even a pro slaughter bitch like myself? It really doesn't take more than half a brain.

Listen up FOBots....unless you are dealing with a severely emaciated, crippled animal, all you have to do is feed the damn thing and take care of their feet.

Meet Julio...I've had him for about a month now. This is how he looked when I got him.....(BTW that isn't me in the picture if you feel like you need to pick on something...LMAO)

Now a little of this:

A little of that....

And a whole lot of this:

In ONE session that cost me a mere $50 bucks he's a whole new donkey....

And he's damn near perfect weight now also. And he runs damn near everywhere he goes these days.....LOL.

I can't even count the number of times I've seen "rescues" post similar shit on ABR with pleas and cries for hundreds of dollars to save the critters life. REALLY? Ok, whatever.......Julio thinks they are as full of shit as I do :)

Anyway I was wondering, since I didn't make up some dramatic story, plea for money and expect to be patted on the back, if I also qualify for sainthood status by doing simply what needed to de done......


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Lotta Catchin' Up!


Ah, let me start with Alex....

So it's been a year+ since he cried wolf AGAIN about shutting down ABR. Who was shocked when he announced he would be keeping it? No one.....that's who :) When his book didn't take off like a bat out of hell I suppose he figured he needed to stick around and peddle it as much as he could. Sales don't seem to be going so well. Can't imagine that there wasn't much call for yet another Barbaro book, LOL.

He's asking for sales suggestions on his facebook page....let's see.....

Fire starters

Booster seats

Leveling that unruly couch that's missing a leg

Balancing it on your head for posture

I think the back cover has his face on it....might come in handy for scaring the mice out of the barn

He's so desperate to get the 2000+ books sold and out of his house that when someone asked if they could send him a book and have it signed he replied...(paraphrasing)  "There must be a better way with over 2000 of them sitting in my house".....AKA: Buy another fucking book. I have way to many that aren't selling!

And his latest post has his total disappointing sales......and his announcement he needs the $ from the book sales to finance is other ABR endeavours.....ummmmm Alex, WTF are those? Self promoting yourself?

And he's tired of eating beans on toast....poor guy. Maybe he should hook up with Jim at Tirre Madre and they could split a can O' soup too!


Don't know if you followed the comments on the last blog or not, but we had a special guest appearance by the one and only BreckNridger. You know....the dude that sits around and dresses up horsies with photoshop on ABR. Mainly Barbaro. I swear until I saw a photo of him I thought he was a teenager......but NOPE! It's a full grown....ummmm, this. Please have your Depends on when you look at his pic......

He got himself a Dodge Charger with customized "Barbrro" plates. He claims in the comment section that those who are making fun of him are just jealous, LMAO.

Here is a little tip for you Kent......

You saying people are "jealous" of you and your car is like an ugly chick saying "beauty is on the inside". You both know you are full of shit, but you have to say it to make you feel better about yourself :)

Normal people do not go around worshiping a dead horse, the car is not an expensive one that most people cannot afford, and I don't know of anyone personally that wants to go around dressed up like a goofball in their customized lael color sneakers. Sorry dude....your just really, really, really fucking weird! And the video you made of yourself doing the honorary figure 8 for Barbaro in a school parking lot is just down right CREEPY! Run kiddies, RUN!

Did you have problems getting ahold of GregJ? I mean this blog is still up....thought you 2 were shutting it down :) Or did he tell you he already knew about it and has even posted here before....although he didn't act like a 5 year old school girl having a little hissy fit when he did, LMAO.

BreckNridger also left a nice little drawing of a dick, balls and asshole in the comment section along with the claims that many FOB's have sent savory pictures of themselves to him.....not sure what he was trying to prove by that because all it did for myself and others is reaffirm the fact that the FOB's are 11 cookies short of a dozen :)


Friday, January 21, 2011

Verna, Verna, Verna......


......get off your lazy ass and get a fucking JOB already!

This chick has been on ABR for well over a year with crisis after crisis, excuse after excuse.....

She can't work because she has arthritis, fibromyalgia, and a million other ailments......but she can take care of 3 dogs and a million cats (all unaltered BTW....) and her kids.

She won't take prescription meds because "they are poisonous"......but I'd be more apt to believe the doctors think she's a hypochondriac loon and doesn't need any "meds" besides Prozac, LOL.

Guess what Verna? I have Lupus. I have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia and a million other ailments. You know how I handle it? Certainly not by whining on the internet trying to get people to pay my bills for me....

After sitting home for 2 years (and being able to AFFORD to do that I might add) and feeling WORSE I went out and got a JOB. I feel BETTER. Having shit wrong with you does NOT give you a free pass to sit on your ass. Working and MOVING around helps more than anything.

So cry to someone who doesn't have a clue....oh, never mind, you are....I forgot you have the FOB's around you, LMAO.

I'm sorry, but there has to be something terribly wrong with someone who can't turn to (or doesn't have) friends and family in a time of crisis.....someone who has to turn to the internet in hopes someone will send them a buck....someone who over a year ago couldn't afford to feed their animals, and still can't to this day....